Alright, so this post's titled Breakthrough for a reason. The last couple of weeks have been filled with realizations in triathlon and in my personal life..but the biggest break through of all has been in the making for the last few of years.
It started at Cal, when I decided to major in math, a field that completely terrified me yet intrigued me mentally and spiritually. I didn't let my fear of failure overcome me and I didn't settle for mediocrity in my pursuit of what I felt, at that time, was my calling. Years went by, I did my thang at Cal, then at ASU. After 6 years of higher education, I decided that it was time to venture out into the real world and I bid farewell (though not necessarily forever) to academics, sealing that chapter in my life with a symbolic tattoo of a circle, the infinitely symmetric, most fascinating mathematical object, on my wrist.
While I was going through the transition from academics to the world outside it, I picked up triathlon to keep me sane and grounded. Little did I know that what started as a little fling with sport would turn into a full fledged obsession. I went from "I can't swim, and I haven't really been on a bike since I was 7 but what the hell, let's see if I can do this" to.."I'm gonna be an IronWoman someday. I can feel it pulsing through my being...I know I'm meant to do this, it's just a matter of when".
And now, as I become accustomed to this 9to5/triathlon life, I can't help but feel that I'm meant to be someone grand. I'm meant to be more than a schedule, a routine day in day out. I'm hungry. I'm hungry for life, I'm lusting for everything else my future has to offer. In a few short weeks, I'll be turning 25. 25! And I feel like I'm still 18, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to grab the world by its horns and make things happen.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the biggest breakthrough of all is the realization that I'm not one of those people who can let life pass by and be content with it. I don't go with the flow, that's not my style. I make my own waves, my own path and I don't settle. My mind is always working, trying to figure out the next big challenge, trying to find ways to keep me excited.
Right now, my obsession is triathlon. It's the beast that makes me look forward to waking up because waking up means gettin on my bike and tearing through the streets. Waking up means running the Papago Park Loop listening to my beat up old Ipod mini, blasting up the hills. Waking up means jumping into that pool, pushing through lap after lap, whether it's below 50 degrees out or over 100 degrees. Waking up means embracing life, embracing my youth and humbly accepting God's gift of the time and the health to be able to do all of this.
Triathlon has lit this amazing fire inside me and helped me reinforce my faith in myself. I know I'm meant to accomplish great things in life. Whether it's testing my body's physical capacity to pushing my brain's mental abilities to discovering my heart's tenacity. I'm not meant to settle for less. Cuz Honey...mediocrity, it just ain't for me.
I have a bunch more that I want to write, however, it IS 11:30pm and I DO have to wake up early for a ride/run brick before I head off to work so I'll talk in detail about my little bursts of realizations in the next post. Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know, you want to hear more but hang in there, I'll post again. I promise! Before I leave, however, I'll leave you with a little something the road gave me when I crashed my bike last weekend. Long story short, I rode kinda fast over some train tracks on the road, they were not perpendicular to the road and mama wasn't payin' nuff attention. One thing lead to another, my skinny little front wheel got stuck in the tracks, I got thrown off the side of my bike and slid across the road and picked up this nifty little souvenir:
Ain't it pretty? :) If you think this is gross, you should have seen it last sunday when it actually happened. Lesson: Proceed with caution when you're riding over train tracks! To top it off I had to ride 15 miles home afterwards with a bloody shoulder that looked like the skin had been sand papered off it. I felt like one tough chick after that and I aboslutely HAD to use this opportunity to show off my battle wound, my little road rash. I call it Leaky...cuz it's been leaking yellow pus and nastyness all week, but I bet ya didn't need to know all that did ya?
Until next time,
Azra
