Monday, January 25, 2010

Ironman Arizona: A DNF story part 3 (the 'happy' Bike)

Attempting to complete Ironman Arizona has been a dream of mine for quite some time. An Ironman Triathlon is a 2.4mi swim, 112mi bike ride and 26.2 mi run within a 17h time period. On Nov 22nd 2009 I attempted and failed to complete Ironman Arizona by falling 5 min short of reaching the 4:15pm bike cutoff time and receiving a DNF.

DNF in triathlon stands for Did Not Finish. But to me, my DNF during Ironman Arizona stands for Dream Not Fulfilled (yet). I’ll be back in Arizona someday to re-attempt making this dream a reality. For now, here’s my account of what happened and what I learned from it.

Part 3, the 'happy' Bike:

After the abysmal swim that I had just had, I was ready to get out there and have fun on the 112 bike ride ahead of me. Yes. FUN.

Ok. Here we go. Time forget about the cold ass swim and go have some fun. You’re doing an Ironman Azra. An Ironman! Do you realize this? You just SWAM 2.4mi, more than you’ve ever swam in one sitting and you’re doing THIS! You're about to go ride 112 miles...you're REALLY doing this!

Finally..I started to get into it. I used a heart rate monitor (HRM) to help me pace myself during the 112mi long bike segment. I had been using HRM training all through out my long rides and it had served me pretty well to this point. But that day, for some reason, my legs just didn’t have it. My whole body just didn’t have it. I was following My heart rate the way I was supposed to, but the speed I needed just wasn’t there. Hell, I was going slower than I had in my training rides on a considerably hillier terrain in much hotter weather. Granted I had a fairly strong headwind coming my way but I still felt like something wasn’t right. I should’ve been able to go faster, but I was afraid to stray from my game plan. What if I ‘blow’ my heart rate now at the expense of completely hitting the wall and collapsing on the run? I remained positive, thinking ‘I’m just cold, I’ll warm up and start getting faster after 15/20 miles. It’ll be okay’.

The Ironman Arizona’s Bike Course is a 3 loop Out and Back course with a slight incline and a headwind on the way out and a slight decline and a tail wind on the way down the course. I chalked up my slow speed to both of these factors on the way up thinking I’ll make up plenty of lost ground on the way back and sure enough, I started zooming after the turnaround and my spirits picked up.

I had a gynormous smile on my face the whole way back! Going downhill with a tailwind is WAY more fun than going uphill with a headwind! Even if the incline is ever so slight.
I was also making sure to take in 250 calories an hour . During the Ironman, you have to make EXTRA sure that you take in an appropriate number of calories each hour so that you have enough fuel to sustain your endurance for the day. Each person is very different in terms of what works with their stomach and taste buds since you have to be taking in gels, Gatorade/fluids, energy bars and whatever else have you WHILE you’re working your ass off on the bike or during the run.

I had practiced my plan and had it down solid. I knew what worked for me and what didn’t and I repeatedly did the math in my head, counting every calorie I took on the bike to make sure that I hit roughly 250 calories per hour.

So, flying downhill, taking in calories, and keeping track of my heart rate, the turn around point to start loop number 2 appeared within no time. My spirits picked up as I got closer and closer to downtown Tempe. The streets were completely packed with spectators and I was SO energized by their presence and their cheers!

So, not to brag or anything, but people LOVE to cheer me on during races. I think it’s because I always have a HUGE ear to ear grin on my face when I’m doing triathlons. Even though I don’t always love training, I LOVE racing. And unless I’m seriously crazy suffering out there, I am always smiling because I’m just so happy to be alive and able to experience the exhileration and the joy of racing. And let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to cheer a cute little Indian girl with a HUGE smile who looks like she’s just SO happy to be there ☺

I kept going, thanking all the volunteer that I could in the process and I got closer and closer to the turn-around point. I saw my parents right before the turn around and oh man I nearly lost it. I am so lucky to have such amazing parents who don’t always get my crazy obsession with triathlon but are incredibly proud of me and supportive none the less.

Finally…there’s the turnaround, I slowed my bike down, maneuvered around the dividers and was OFF for loop number two. On my way out, I saw Phil with his camera out, cheering me on, taking pics on the bike. I remember thinking how much I appreciated his support through all of this as I flew through the crowded streets on my bike.

Excited, energized...I was finally embracing the Ironman with open arms. I was convinced that the worst part was over with the swim and the first half of the first loop on the bike course....boy was I wrong.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ironman Arizona: A DNF story part 2 (The Swim)

Attempting to complete Ironman Arizona has been a dream of mine for quite some time. An Ironman Triathlon is a 2.4mi swim, 112mi bike ride and 26.2 mi run within a 17h time period. On Nov 22nd 2009 I attempted and failed to complete Ironman Arizona by falling 5 min short of reaching the 4:15pm bike cutoff time and receiving a DNF.

DNF in triathlon stands for Did Not Finish. But to me, my DNF during Ironman Arizona stands for Dream Not Fulfilled (yet). I’ll be back in Arizona someday to re-attempt making this dream a reality. For now, here’s my account of what happened and what I learned from it.


Part 2, The Swim:

As I jumped into the water and warmed up to get ready for the MASS swim start at 7am, I just didn’t feel like I was doing an Ironman. What I did feel, was that the water was incredibly cold. I knew that the water wasn’t actually cold, I mean hell, I swam in the Aquatic Park in SF in 50-55 degree water and this was only 63 degrees. But for some reason, the water felt EXTRA cold to me. I seeded myself WAY back behind the masses. I wanted to have a comfortable swim. Being a few extra minutes faster was really not worth being pummeled by tons of people swim around and over me in the water. My pacing strategy was to take it easy in the water. WAYYY easy. The swim is the shortest event in the Ironman triathlon. Going harder would mean gaining a few extra minutes at best, possibly at the expense of feeling exhausted out of the water.

But going at that slow pace, I just COULDN’T warm up. I was scared to go faster since my swim endurance was definitely the worst out of the three disciplines but I was SO cold the entire time. It makes no sense to me since I generally LOVE swimming in ~65 degrees water with a wetsuit. All I could think of was how cold I was and how I wish I could JUST warm up. I tried to focus on other things and that helped, but physically, my body was COLD and TENSE. My legs kept cramping up as did my hip flexors and the entire thing was a terribly uncomfortable experience. In retrospect, I wish I had gone faster just to get warmer.

Coming out of the water, the volunteers had to help me up because I couldn’t feel my feet too well. They stripped the wetsuit off me and handed it to me, instructed me to the changing tent and sent me along my way. I was shivering. Shaking. Uncontrollably. And in my head I remember thinking ‘the water wasn’t that cold…I know it wasn’t…I’ve swam in much worse than that during practice swims and still managed to get warm in the water within 10-15 min or so of swimming…WHAT happened?’ I have to be honest. I have no idea. I still don’t know WHY the water felt SO cold. What I do know, is that I wasted ~10 minutes just to thaw out and get warmer and be able to stop my legs from shaking uncontrollably.

10 minutes doesn’t seem like a long time during an event that you’re given 17h to complete, but when you miss the bike cutoff by 5 min, you can’t help but play that numbers game. The reality is, had I trained right for this Ironman, A few extra minutes lost here and there wouldn’t have made the difference between making the cutoff and not making it.

One volunteer draped two mylar blankets around me and directed me to sit in the sun while another rubbed down my feet and my arms to get my blood going and help me warm up. A third volunteer helped into the changing tent and got me dressed. After 16 whole minutes, I was FINALLY ok to go out on the bike course.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ironman Arizona 2009: A DNF story PART 1 (The Build Up)

Attempting to complete Ironman Arizona has been a dream of mine for quite some time. An Ironman Triathlon is a 2.4mi swim, 112mi bike ride and 26.2 mi run within a 17h time period. On Nov 22nd 2009 I attempted and failed to complete Ironman Arizona by falling 5 min short of reaching the 4:15pm bike cutoff time and receiving a DNF.

DNF in triathlon stands for Did Not Finish. But to me, my DNF during Ironman Arizona stands for Dream Not Fulfilled (yet). I’ll be back in Arizona someday to re-attempt making this dream a reality. For now, here’s my account of what happened and what I learned from it.


The Build Up To The Ironman:

On Nov 22nd 2009, I toed the line with over 2500 athletes to compete in Ironman Arizona (2.4mi swim, 112mi bike ride, 26.2mi run) The weather conditions were forecasted to be perfect: A 75 degree high with 6mph or so winds. But inside, I didn't feel perfect. For some reason, over the last few weeks, while I'd been anticipating this event in eagerness, I couldn't picture myself crossing the line.

I had started training for this event in January of this year and by the time Aug rolled around, I had built up a solid base to jump into peak training with. I did a half Ironman (1.2mi swim, 56mi bike, 13.1mi run) on Aug 1st called Barb’s race (my 3rd Half Iron ever) that went pretty well from my standards. I had been working hard all year and was improving little by little. The proof was in the pudding.

Starting in August, I began to get into the MEAT of Ironman training. During this time, it was necessary for me to workout 15-20h per week, ride 80-100mi over the weekend and essentially making Ironman training a top priority no matter what. While this was a daunting challenge, racing Barb’s race had re-ignited my desire to train and I felt ready for it.

But right in the midst of this all, a job opportunity that caused me to move from SF to LA came across my path. The position was almost exactly the kind of role I had envisioned myself pursuing about a year down the road. At this point, I wasn’t ready to leave SF by any means…I mean I had a great gig at Slide and I was right smack in the middle of the PEAK training for Ironman Arizona for cryin’ out loud. But…something inside my told me that going to LA and accepting this opp was the right thing for my career and my future. I just couldn’t bring myself to say no to it.

I accepted the position as the manager of marketing and analytics and Hangout Industries on Aug. 10th 2009 and I needed to pack up, say good bye to my friends and family, and get the heck outa san Francisco within a short 3 week time period for a Sept 1st start date.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to let triathlon and Ironman be one of my top two priorities in life. I wanted to hang out with my friends. I wanted to stay out late. I wanted to be with my family. I wanted to pack everything in peace. I wanted to take in what I could of San Francisco before I had to leave it prematurely to pursue this new opportunity down south.

And during that time, I resented Ironman and I resented triathlon. I didn’t want to do those 80mi bike rides in the heat. I didn’t want to dedicate every single one of my three last weekends to triathlon. I wanted to go have fun and I didn’t want to worry about how it would affect my workouts. I didn’t want to ‘figure’ out some way to ‘fit’ it all in. I wanted to be ‘normal’.

So tri training took a back seat. A HUGE back seat. I stopped doing most of my weekly workouts. I had no drive to. I hated the fact that I had to move across the state yet I had to worry about making my target workouts EVERY SINGLE DAY. I still kept up with all of the longer workouts, but the heart just wasn’t there.

Once I moved down to LA and started working, the same feelings haunted me. I had JUST moved to LA and I wanted to unpack, I wanted to adjust, I wanted to get to know more people and explore the town and I DIDN’T want to be a slave to triathlon training.

I actually seriously thought about ‘quitting’ Ironman at that time and try again when the heart was there, maybe next year…maybe the year after. I didn’t want to do Ironman like this. I wanted to do it right. I wanted to do it when I was completely vested in it and was yearning for it.

But something inside me just wouldn’t let me quit cold and try again. I had already sunk so much time into this and I was so close.

12 weeks.

So, so close.

I just couldn’t get myself to throw in the towel. So I kept going, half assed, missing too many weekly workouts, and barely hangin’ on. Sadly and simply put, I just didn’t want to do the work. So I didn’t.

I felt like I was doing ‘just enough’ to stay afloat and at this point, ‘just enough’ was good enough for me. I didn’t care anymore. I just want this doggone thing done with. By the way, training ‘just enough’ still meant training roughly 12-13h during the heaviest weeks, instead of the 15-17h that I really should’ve been putting in.

This is NOT how I wanted to feel when I toed the line during Ironman. I absolutely knew that I was cutting corners and not putting in the work that I should’ve put in. Did I feel like I could cross that finish line at that time? Yeah, I did. But could I envision what it would feel like given that I was (way) less than satisfied with the work that I had put into it? No, I really couldn’t.

To Be Continued....

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Ironman Arizona in 1 week

Ironman Arizona is in 1 week...and it doesn't. feel. real.

Every now and again i get nervous, and every now and again i get excited. But has it really, truly registered in my head that I'm doing this thing next week?

Not really. Well. At least not fully.

Because how can I possibly wrap the notion of this monumental, life altering event around my head? This ever looming goal that I've been working towards for so long now.

Officially, I've been working towards this goal for a solid 1 year.

But unofficially...this goal is almost 3 years in the making. From the time that I did my very first triathlon in March 07...I had a sneaking suspicion that I would one day want to compete in an Ironman Tri.

My suspiscions turned into reality when I volunteered on the race course for Ironman Arizona that same year in April 07.

I witnessed thousands of people fulfilling their dreams that day....some completing their first ever Ironman...others attaining their personal PRs..and yet others qualifying for Ironman Hawaii for the first time in their lives.

I got teary eyed several times that day. I remember driving down the streets of tempe on the bike route, watching Ironman Triathletes working so hard on their bikes....so determined...reaching for their goals...

....and I remember thinking 'that's going to be me someday'...

I remember watching people at the finish line...people who'd been going at it for over 13 hours... some running for a sprint finish, others wincing and hobling in pain to the end. Many had tears of joy running down their cheeks as they crossed the finish line and collapsed onto a volunteer...

...and I remember thinking 'that's going to be me someday'

I remember being at the volunteer's appreciation banquet the day after Ironman, where they played a video montage of the Ironman Race from the day before.

In one of the first scenes of the video, I remember AFI's 'Miseria Cantare" (The Beginning) playing in the background as they filmed the beginning of the swim start for Ironman. I remember watching a woman who was about to compete in the race look up to the sky and say a little prayer before jumping into the water to fulfill her destiny...

...and I remember thinking 'that's going to be me someday'

Well. It's 2.5years later.

And next week, on sunday, that 'someday' will arrive.

And on that day, that WILL be me.

I'm going to be the one looking up to the sky, wiping a tear out of my eye, and jumping into the water for the swim start.

And I'm going to be the one with my head down, focused, working hard on the bike with complete determination.

And I'm going to be the one crossing that finish line...sprinting or hobbling...it doesn't matter....I'm going to do it.

ANd Crossing the finish line along with me, will be the support and inspiration of many, many people who've helped me achieve this goal.

And I can't wait to make everyone proud.

But along with all these feelings of hope and determination come feelings of fear. I thought about this pretty hard.....I've been feeling a little anxious on and off for the last week or so as the day comes closer...and I've narrowed my anxiety down to two specific 'fears'

Fear 1) I'm scared of the pain that is to come on Sunday.
They say that Ironman is one of the most painful and trying experiences you'll ever go through in your life. And I believe them. I'm scared of what Mile 16 on the marathon will feel like. And worse yet, I'm scared of what Mile 20 will feel like. Will it feel like knives jabbing into my quads as some describe? Will I want to collapse at every single step going forward but force myself to keep going? Will I be in so much pain that a constant stream of tears will be flowing down my cheeks? Will I really feel the deepest, most painful physical 'hurt' I've ever felt in my entire life?

To be honest...all these pain related fears fuel my excitement a bit. Masochistic, I know. But I just keep thinking to myself "Can u imagine what it'll be like to be able to say 'I survived that...I survived an Ironman' " I want to know that hurt, as scared as I am of it, I want to embrace it as a part of the journey. I want to see what it feels like to conquer the pain with positive thinking...and I want to see what I'm capable of overcoming.


Fear 2) I've been working at this goal for so long now...I'm scared of feeling 'lost' after it's all over.
Unlike fear #2. This is the bad kind of fear. The kind of fear that I really should be able to push aside.

The thing is that I've been saying things like 'after ironman i'll travel' or 'after ironman i'll read more' and 'after ironman, i'll immerse myself more in the work I do' .

I have many, many things lined up that I want to do after Ironman...believe u me. But I don't have one definitive, cohesive goal, just a bunch of mini goals that I want to accompish after Ironman. And none are as well defined and as earth-shattering/life altering as Ironman. And I'm scared. I'm scared that it's going to be a little while before I can figure out what that 'next big passion' will be in my life.

In the past when I've felt lost..I've been terrified of the what ifs. What if I can't find something else I love. What if I don't know what I want to do next....what if.

But this time, instead of running away from it...i want to welcome it. I have the opportunity to figure out my next big passion. Running will always be there. Triathlon will always be there. These things won't leave my life anytime soon. So what's there to be scared about? I have EVERYTHING to be excited about.

I get to be free, be flexible, carve out a path for myself. Will it be striving to get admitted to a Top Tier school for an MBAl? Will it be playing a key role in taking Hangout to a successful exit? Will it be taking the lessons that I've learned thus far and boostrapping my own little company? Or maybe someting else all together?

Who knows? And instead of being scared of the unknown...I am trying my best to embrace it with open arms.

All fears aside, right now, I know one thing for sure. It's way past my bedtime..and I can't wait for Ironman Arizona next Sunday

Azra

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Race next week!

Training's been going swimmingly well :) (also runningly and bikingly well!).

It's crazy how much I've progressed since I started training with Coach Jen in May. I've been doing Heart Rate based training with her and My endurance has gone WAY up, my ability to push on the bike has increased, and I'm learning how to fuel properly while training in hot conditions. As a result, my swim and bike have improved dramatically! And my run's coming along okay as well!

Last Wednesday, I did a 3200m swim. Can you believe it? 3200m! 2miles. 2 MILES!! And...I...actually... enjoyed it!

I wasn't bored, the workout was varied enough to keep my interest and I guess for me, that's the key with swimming. Last year, I couldn't even fathom swimming anything more than like 2000m or so without being bored out of my mind and look at me now. Swimming 2 miles at a time.

It's crazy how far I've come along. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle with swimming every time I go, and the devil in me still tries to convince me that 'it's okay if I miss just this one little workout' and 'it's just the swim, how much will this one workout help anyway?' Buuuuut the more I swim, the better I feel, and the easier it is to quiet that mischeivious voice of doubt :)

Even my bike's getting stronger. I still have a hard time handling the heat when it's above 90 degrees outside. I slow WAYYYY down and occasionally feel nauseated in that kind of heat but I've been getting better at dealing with it. I really enjoy the mid week bike spin workouts I get from Coach Jen and I feel like they've helped me increase my strength on the bike quite a bit.

I have a race coming up next week, Barb's race. It's a Half Iron Distance race that is an all women's race and I'm so excited about it! The last few long 4-5h Bike-run bricks have gone rather well for me. I've been fueling right and drinking enough fluids, paying attention to my heart rate and trying to keep it within the right zones. (save a few hills here and there)As a result, I've been able to avoid extreme fatigue and been able to run with reasonable ease right after the bike!

Last weekend, I did a 5h bike ride with a 30 min run on the exact course that I'll be racing for Barb's race. The bike course is a bit technical (read turns and windy roads) but isn't terrible. It's nice with rolling hills and some flat-ish parts and one semi-steep hill that's ~.5mi long. Not too bad at all. In fact, it's gorgeous, winding through the Russian River/Allexandre valley/Healdsburg wine country. Ahh-mazing (if it hadn't been 95 degrees the whole time!).

I was sooo slow cuz little mama here just can't handle the heat. I have NO idea how I trained in Arizona and didn't drive myself bonkers! I took down only 6 bottles of fluids....really needed 7-8 but the stinking route didn't have any gas stations in sight for a solid 25 or so mile stretch on the route! I ran out of fluids and had to go on empty for quite some before we finally hit a gas station towards the last 1/5 of the ride. That was NOT fun.

I was worried that this would mean that I'd suffer alot on the run, but I tried not to pay attention to that. Instead, I focused on doing what I could do at that point i.e taking down my fluids and gels to the best of my abilities for the remainder of the ride and just focus on being positive.

Well guess what...I was able to turn my dehydrated state around! By the time the 5h ride was actually up, I was ready to rock the 30 minute run and was actually looking forward to it. The run went amazingly well considering how dehydrated I'd been earlier! Legs almost felt bouncy and wanted to go faster and once the 30min run was up, I felt like I could have kept going with the same vigor and energy for a while. That's great news :0) and it gives me lots of confidence for race day next weekend. I'm actually gonna be able to race and not just 'finish' this time!

I'm just giddy with excitement. I've been working hard with my training and I really feel like this is all going to pay off come Aug 1st (i.e the day of my Half Ironman).

Just how far have I come along? Well...we'll just have to see on Aug 1st now won't we :)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Better this time :)

Alright.

So if you read my last post, sorry to frreak you out. I'm doin just fine :)

Last week was a pretty low point in training. Skipped workouts and lack of focus resulted in me reaching an absolute nadir but also resulted in a realization that, if I want to succeed in this IronMan Triathlon that is now only 5 months away (Yikes!), I need to stop dwelling in 'misery' on things i should have done and focus on what I can do now.

So I decided, no more excuses.

Really. None.

I know that not every workout that I do will be met with extreme enthusiasm. I know that there will be days when I just-don't-wanna but I'm-just-gonna-hafta put one foot in front of the other or one arm in front of the other, focus on the task at hand and just get-it-done. Period.

I know that the 'runner's high' won't happen everytime I run, or that 'feeling like i'm gliding beautifully through the water' won't happen every time I swim, or that 'climbing the hill on my bike in the zone, perfectly connected' won't be as frequent an occurance as I'd like and that is OKAY.

I'll still be chasing those highs that WILL happen every now and make it all worth it.

And they may not always come in the form of my own running/biking/swimming.

They may come in the form of a Facebook friend who, after reading my endurance story, felt inspired to donate.

They may come in the form of my friend Karyn or Phil that I'm 'psuedo' coaching that tell me about how much they appreciate being able to talk to me about their training.

And they may come in the form of me reflecting on all that I've accomplished since I first started triathlons and allowing myself to actually be proud of myself, despite some of my short-comings.

I'm convinced that any major task or goal in life requires three things for success: Heart, Dedication and Faith.

Heart: You've gotta have the passion burning within you to accomplish what you've set out to do. If your heart's not in it, you've lost the battle before you even started. There will be days when you second guess yourself, and times when you're tired or worn out. But if you have a deep desire to accomplish your goal, it'll get you through those tough times and keep that light at the end of the tunnel in sight.

Dedication: Simply put, sometimes you just have to put your head down and do the work. You have to commit, fully. Your heart may be in it, but if you're not willing to put in the work, your 'heart' can only carry you through so far. The ability to put total focus and hardwork into the task at hand is absolutely essential in achieving success.

Faith: Gotta have faith. Gotta believe in yourself. Gotta know, deep down inside, that if you have the Heart and you put in the Work that you WILL succeed. Period. No room for doubts, no room for what-ifs... because if you don't believe in yourself, who else will?

Changing subjects:

On the training front, things are going great! I've had a few great workouts and a few 'gosh I don't wanna do this' workouts but over all, I'm pretty happy with everything.

Last sunday, I did an almost 4hr Brick workout (3:20 bike ride, 30 min run) and I was amazed at how resilient the body is.

The last time I had ridden over 40 miles was two months ago and the ease with which I was able to do it again was pleasantly surprising. No real pain or soreness, not even during the run.

The only issue is that I didn't take in enough calories on the bike. I was only eating about 150 or so calories per hour, when really it should be more like 250-300. As a result, I was ready to collapse at the end of the workout, not because I was worn out, but because I desperately needed some energy!

Note to self: Eat more or you'll whither away!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sleepless...

It's happening again.

It's official.

The chlorine infused pool water at the YMCA SF HATES me.

LOATHES me.

REVELS in my misery.

NEVER wants me to come back.


You see, the pool and I....we don't get along.

Not only am I bad at swimming...I have this issue with water. I'm sort of...allergic to it.

Not so much when I drink it, but more so when I swim in it. Especially when Chlorine is involved.

I don't know WHAT is wrong with me or WHY this happens but, if I let too many days pass between swims, I get a 24 hr sinus bug.

But this isn't just an achoo-bless-you-oh-thank-you-sniffle-sniffle kind of bug.

This... is a SINUS BUG.

It is a COUGH your lungs up, SNEEZE your eye-balls out, BLOW the skin off your nose type of nasal malfunction.

And wanna know what the worst part about the whole thing is?

I CANNOT BREATHE.

AT ALL.

THROUGH EITHER NOSTRIL.

AT ALL


Yep. The ALL CAPS were absolutely essential in conveying the sentiment felt by yours truly.

Let me put it in perspective for you.

It's 2:52am, and I need to wake up by 8am to do a HARD bike workout before going in to work.

So what's the big deal Azra? Just go to sleep and you'll be fine.

You know, I'd love to go to sleep right now. In fact, I'm ridiculously sleepy....my bed looks so inviting..... oh so very, very inviting.....one problem:

I CANNOT BREATHE.

Infact, every time i try to swallow, my ears start to pop. My nose is just THAT clogged.

Not only do I have to wake up for an 8am bike ride, I need to do a 1h strength training routine in the evening....and if my nose doesn't free up soon...and I can't get to bed soon, I don't know how I'll successfully complete those workouts.

I know that this problem is very much a problem of the privileged and you're probably thinking:

Boo Hoo Azra, so you can't make your workouts tomorrow, you'll live, your life will go on

But it's not as simple as that.

I've signed up for a commitment: IRONMAN ARIZONA 2009.

And this commitment is very high on my priority list. It currently dictates a large part of my life.

But I have my doubts.

Lately I've been in a triathlon funk and I've been wondering...

Was signing up the right thing to do?

Is my heart even all the way in it?


It's 5 months before the race and I'm already working out 11-12h per week....swimming, biking, running, strength training, stretching...... it's overwhelming.

And I've only just begun...it's only gonna get tougher from here on out.

Sometimes....sometimes I wonder if it's all even worth the trouble?

On nights like tonight when I'm up at 2am because of my swim induced sinus bug....I really get put to the test.

At times it seems like all I do is work, eat, sleep, Ironman.

Yeh Jeena bhi Kya jeena hai lalloo ? (in hindi, rough translation: What kind of a life is this anyway?)

But then I remember: My commitment to compete in Ironman is no longer just a commitment to myself.

When I had signed up for Ironman, I had decided that I would fundraise for FOCUS Humanitarian

Not because I have to...but because accomplishing a feat as tremendous as Ironman would feel incomplete if it wasn't benefiting others who are less fortunate in the process.

Well, I finally set up my fundraising page: www.firstgiving.com/Azra where people can donate to FOCUS Humanitarian in support of my attempt to compete in Ironman.

In fact, I've already raised a small sum on the site.

People I personally know have been generous and compassionate enough to support me in this endeavor.

They've put their faith in FOCUS.

They've put their faith in me and in my ability to successfully train for and attempt Ironman.

Some have even been inspired by my story.

And that means I can't let them down.

On days like today, when I am wondering 'What am I doing all this for anyway?' I have a constant reminder motivating me to persevere:

Because They believe in you.

Because They are counting on you.

Because this isn't just about you anymore.


Because no matter how 'bad' you think you may have it, there are so many others out there who have it so much worse.

And you cannot let them down.

And you have to stay strong.

And you cannot let this get to you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

First Half Marathon Race Report 4/27/09

Beep. Beep. Beep. Snooze once.

Beep. Beep. Beep Snooze twice

Beep. Beep. Beep...so wanted to Snooze a third time but that would be pushin' it.

It was time to get up except....

ugh. My legs. They feel so fatigued...so heavy..like bricks.

It was the day of my first half marathon, the Santa Cruz Half, and it was on the last day of a particularly tough triathlon week.


Needless to say, this was NOT the ideal time to be doing a half marathon, let alone my first one ever.

I had known that when I had signed up for this race on a whim...that my legs would not feel up for it the morning of the race.

I had known that. So this wasn't a surprise to me.

But my shins hurt too. and my hamstrings were a little sore. and my glutes, and my hips were tight....and..gosh I could come up with an infinite list of things that weren't ideal to sabotage myself for what's to come.

Truth be told...i was scared of this race. Of the three disciplines in triathlon...I find myself most at home when I'm running. Running is a very personal thing for me. My body's built for distance running.

At 5'1" and 100 lbs I'm too small to be a really powerful cyclist. My arms are too short have a really powerful pull in the water...but on land, as a runner...my genetics don't go completely against me.

At 5' 1" and 100 lbs...I'm not too short for distance running. Deanna Kastor, the Olympic medalist and American Marathon Record Holder is only 5' 4"...not too far off from me.

And that's why I feel so deeply attached to running...like I have a shot of some sort. Like my size isn't working against me.

My legs, my quads my glutes...all were excuses. The fact is, I was scared. I had been training consistently...true. But I had no idea of how fast I was.

Back when I was training for my first half marathon in 2007 but pulled out last minute due to IT band issues, I had a goal in mind. 1:59:59.

Now, two years, later, as I was getting ready to finally compete in my first stand alone half marathon. I hadn't forgotten about that goal.

Despite the tough triathlon week. Despite the less than ideal conditions...I hadn't forgotten about that goal.

And I had told myself it would be okay if I didn't make my goal.

After all, my legs weren't fresh. I was not well rested. I have a huge race coming up in two weeks (the WildFlower Half Ironman) that is far more important than this teensy little half mary. That it was okay if i was slow...that I should be cautious because I don't want to injure myself before the Big Race coming up...

But deep down inside...deep, deep down inside. I knew. I knew that no matter what, I'd be disappointed if I hadn't met my original Goal.

I thought about all of this as I finally got out of bed and started getting dressed. I tried to put it all in the back of my head and just get ready. 20 minutes later, I was all ready to go.

I hadn't picked up my race numbers for the race yet, so I strolled along to the registration booth, got my registration packet, pinned the race number on my shirt and had 15 minutes or so to spare before lining up to the race start.

I did a quick little .5 mile warm up with some short speedy 'pick me ups' to get the blood going in my legs.

And u know what I noticed?...I noticed that the stiffness in my legs was melting away...

I stretched a bit before and after the warm up...

and noticed that the stiffness was going away some more..

Whew. Maybe I do have a shot at my goal? Maybe I can be positive about this race? Maybe I can realize that 1:59:59 is just a number, and I should just run with my heart.

I should run because running makes me happy...and no matter what happens, I should be thankful that I'm alive and able to do this.

And if I make that under '2h goal'...well, that'll just be the icing on the cake.

With that attitude...I lined up on the start line, ready to go.

I seeded myself 1/3 of the way in...thinking 'you know, i'm not that fast, i shouldn't start out all the way in the front' Boy was I wrong

I should really have been more selfish. As soon as the gun went off, I realized..this race consisted of wayyy too many Selfish people. People that had no business being in the front (i.e. the walkers).

Now, no disrespect, I think it's amazing how some people can walk that entire thing, but please consider the fact that you're blocking so many people who are trying to hit their target goals etc! have some consideration ppl Move the heck outa the way and start towards the back!

Well, lucky for me, right off the bat, within .1 mi we get this steep-ish hill. Here we go, i'm good on hills, time to power charge up and pass some walkers and slower runners. and I did. But I definitely felt a little tinge of pain in my sore little bum bum.

I continued power charging, with bursts of sprints to move around slow people and weaving in and out of walkers etc...In between all this commotion I looked to my left and was awe-stricken by the amazing view. The ocean looked maginificent...scinilating under the morning sun. Waves ebbing and flowing...gently crashing on the rocks. Speckled with surfers trying to take advantage of it all at the start of the day.

Before i knew it, the first mile was up. I looked down at the time...hmm, 9:06. ok. not bad. considering the super slow start early on, i'll take it.

The second mile was also a lot of running, weaving, dodging,'scuse me runner coming through make way', charging...ooh look Ocean ooh pretty.. charging, weaving, dodging and before i knew it mile two was up as well.

I looked down at the time on my watch to see how mile 2 measured up and...wth? an 8:23 minute mile huh? That sure didn't feel like it. In order to meet my 1:59:59 goal, I had to run at a 9:09 pace and at this point i was running at a sub 9:09 pace with a quite ease

8:23 was great but...slow down! Don't go out too hard now. You don't want to crash later. A teensy part of me wonders how long i could have kept that pace up before crashing...

Somewhere between mile 2 and mile 3, I realized...The pain in the legs, the fear, the anxiety...all were disappearing.

And...as Mile 3 rolled around and I clocked in another sub 9 min mile...I realized..I have a decent shot at meeting my goal. Even though I was running faster than I have been during my training..quite a bit faster actually...it felt great...almost effortless.

Somewhere between mile 2 and mile 3...I had hit that zone. That zone that the endurance runners talk about. That runner's high, that feeling that I could run forever and ever with not a care in the world.

I hit my zone, and nothing was gonna stop me.

Miles 4 and 5 came by and I continued to feel great and on pace to meet my goal.

At mile 6, however, we hit the trails. Here we go. The paths got really narrow and it got more and more difficult to pass people. And considering that I was on pace, I decided to chill out and hold the pace instead of focusing on passing people

At this point, I noticed that I was starting to slow down. Legs aren't going as fast as they were going earlier and as mile 7 came around, I clock in a 9:30. Mile 8...same thing, a 9:30.

I was starting to get a little nervous. I knew I was capable of putting in a teensy bit more effort, but wasn't sure if that meant I was gonna burn out and start hurting or limping later.

I tried to not pay attention to that nagging voice of reason and put in just a little more of a kick.

Mile 9...

Mile 10 ...

Mile 11...

...and now I am 1h:40m:38s into this race.

I have less than 20 minutes to go 2.1 miles and still meet my goal.

"I can do this", I thought to myself. "It's gonna be close but I can do this"

"But gosh my thighs sure do hurt."

Don't pay attention, just focus and run and focus and ouch. A stitch in my side. Ouch. Well tune it out girl! Tune it out!

But gosh it's hard to tune these things out sometimes.

Just chug a long, just chug a long..and wait, where's the mile 12 marker? Must have missed it. Oops. Oh well.

Breathing was starting to get hard at this point. This last bit was definitely tough. Did I want to stop? Absolutely. Did I want to not care about my goal and just walk? Oh you betcha. But did I succumb to any of those thoughts...no ma'm.

I continued. Ow. huff. ow. puff. ow. just..a little...huff puff ..longer...

At some point during all of this 'The Adventure' by 'Angels and Airwaves' came on my Ipod and took a hold of my spirit.

"I can't live I can't breathe unless you do this with me"

I felt the tattoo of the circle on my wrist. I looked up to the sky. I talked to the Big Boss up stairs.


"I can't live I can't breathe unless you do this with me"


I thought of all the people in my life.

My friends who adoringly call me 'IronWoman' and want to fly all the way to Arizona to watch me compete in Ironman and support me.

My mom who told me I could quit my crazy hours job, come live with my parents, train for Ironman and live my dream. I had no idea she supported me that much.

My Phil who's been so amazing, and caring and there for me through it all.

"I can't live I can't breathe unless you do this with me"

All of a sudden, I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I teared up.

I'm running.

I'm running my first half marathon when I couldn't even run half a mile without stopping in High School.

And I've got some wonderful people in my life who are behind me every step of the way.

"I can't live I can't breathe unless you do this with me"


It was the final stretch now. I could see the beach to the finish line far off around the bend...and I had 4 minutes left to get there. I was excited and nervous to find out if I was gonna make it.

This last bit right here is definitely a bit of a blur.

I remember thinking 'crap my running form is definitely out the window right now'

and 'boy that pain in the side is getting tougher to ignore'

and 'a handful of minutes worth of pain and it'll all be over, just tough it out'


and before I knew it, I was rounding out the corner to the finish line.

A surge of energy came over me as the finish line came into view.

I took everything I had in me and I starting sprinting like there's no tomorrow.

Run, Run, Harder, Harder, Run, Faster, Faster, Go-Go-Go-Go Annnnddddd...YESSSS!!!

I crossed the finish line.

I FINISHED!

I looked down at my watch.

1:59:46.

OMG!

I did it!

I MADE MY GOAL!!

Boy did I cut it close.

But boy does it feel good. I don't care if I made it by a few seconds..I did it. I made me proud :)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Breakthroughs and Progress

This weekend, my friends, was a breakthrough work out weekend. I haven't had one of those in a very very long time. In fact, I really can't remember the last time I had a 'true' breakthrough work out.

This weekend, I did a 60 mile bike ride followed by a 35 min brick run. The workout started off with the usual 'I don't wanna do this ride' feeling since I was riding alone. Predictably, at around mile 20 or so, my negative feelings turned into positive ones and as usual, around mile 40, my left knee started giving me trouble.

Yawn. Shocker. What's so 'break-through' about that right? Well. I'll tell ya.

I was aero ~70%-80% of the time.

That means that, instead of riding normally on the handle-bars like I usually do, I forced myself to be in the aero-dynamic triathlon position almost the entire ride. I only got up on the handle bars when I had to break at stop lights, or I needed to stretch a bit, or I was climbing a hill.

Aside from that, I stayed snug and tight and in the aero position.

And you know what? Besides letting me bike just a little bit faster, being Aero did something MONUMENTAL for me.

Being in AERO let me RUN right after riding 60 miles almost INSTANTANEOUSLY!! That's HUGE!!

Normally it takes me ~15 minutes, sometimes 20 minutes of run-walking to adjust to running after riding my bike. My legs feel cramped up like bricks (that makes no sense), and I have to force and convince myself to chill out. It's painful, uncomfortable and I-Just-don't-like- it.

Well...not this time folks! The aero position is designed to not only provide you with a little more speed, but it also allows your 'running muscles' (mainly hamstrings and glutes) to be less fatigued so that you can run after biking more easily.


So this sunday:

1) I feuled right (almost 2 bottles of gatorade, 1 bottle of water, 2 gels 1 bonk-breaker bar = ~800 calories on the bike)

and

2) I stayed in aero

and as a result

3) I ran ran ran ran at a sub 10 min mile pace right off the bat and felt A-MAZING!



I don't know what my exact pace was, but it felt like 9:45/9:30 min miles. After my 35 min brick run was over, I felt like I could have run at that pace for another hour if I just had some fluids and a gel. To give you an idea of what an improvement that is, I normally run ~10:30-11:00 min miles when I first get off the bike, until my legs have adjusted to running.

I get it!! I finally get why Aero is so key! And I finally get what a proper positioning on the bike can do for you!

And that, my friend, is called a break through workout.

I didn't even know that an almost instantaneous transition was possible until now and I'm sooo excited about it!

I'm gonna stay aero during the WildFlower Half Iron for as much and as long as I can help it, and hopefully, things will run just as smoothly during the WildFlower race (pun definitely intended) as they did on Sunday.


I also had a 'break through' in my understanding of friendships and relationships in general.

I realized that sometimes, you gotta cut your friends some slack. That you gotta cut people some slack.

I realized that sometime good, amazing people can have momentary lapses of judgement.

I realized that not everyone is perfect (I certainly am not) and that's ok.

I realized that everyone is allowed to be a little selfish every now and then.

I realized that If you care enough, you just gotta let people know when they're doing something that is inadvertly hurting you.

Chances are, if they're your close friends and care about you, they'll realize this and will rectify the situation, or apologize if it isn't salvageable.

I realized that You gotta trust people, especially your close friends and have a little faith.

Because ultimately, in many, many situations in life, If you ain't got faith, and you ain't got Hope... what else do you got?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

that's gonna be me in nov

A facebook friend recently posted an ironman arizona swim-start video from the point of view of a life-guard/volunteer in a boat on the water.

I had never seen an up-close Ironman AZ full swim start until today....just watching those swimmers stroke, left, right, breathe, left, right, breathe...gliding through the water in unison got me sort of teary eyed.

That's gonna be me this november. I'm gonna make sure i do everything I can to make it happen.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The (Not so) Big Bad WildFlower Weekend

This past weekend, I packed up my tri-gear and headed down to Lake San Antonio, the Race site for the WildFlower Half-Ironman, with the YMCA tri-group for a fun-filled, yet down to business training weekend.

So, I'm a dummy. I took no pictures this weekend! None. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

You know why?? Cuz this dummy forgot to pack her camera!

WTF Azra!

My new year's resolution two years ago was to take more pictures and needless to say, I haven't really followed through on it. I even bought me a cute, mini, skinny little sony cybershot, just to ensure that I'd carry it around with me every where and snap pics left and right...but no dice. I really need to get better at that.

OK. Onward with the weekend. I had so much fun! Arrived in Lake San Antonio park area at ~7:30 pm and got tho-rough-ly lost for a solid 1h trying to figure out where our cabins were in the dark.

Once I finally found the cabin, I chit-chatted with my cabin mates for a bit and we went to sleep shortly after. We had a pretty long day ahead of us filled with lots of (yep, you guessed it) swimming-biking..and on yeah...running! but not in that order this time hehe.


First, the Bike:

We woke up early in the morning (for me at least) and got set to start riding by 8:30am. So now, as you may know from my previous posts, I've been scared to no end by everyone about how brutally hilly the bike course is on the WF. As a result, I've been very focused on trying to get in Hilly rides every weekened in preparation.


Well guess what, the training paid off cuz I gotta tell ya, that ride didn't seem all that bad!

There's a portion of the ride called "the Nasty Grade" that's supposed to be this ohhh so big bad hill that'll punish the heck outa you but you know what, I gotta be honest...Nasty grade really wasn't all that nasty to me. Which is a good thing!

Scratch that, IT'S A GREAT THING!

I actually rode rather conservatively on the ride in fear of this big baaaaad hill that's supposed to just tear me down to pieces. Well, this hill came, and yes it was steep, but before I knew it, it was over and I thought to myself :

"Is this it??"

And then, as the uphill started turning into a downhill I realized...

"Awww yeah girl. That's it!"

(sorry, quick Flight of the Concord reference)

I most certainly could have put in more effort in the first 35-40 miles of the ride since the hill doesn't really start till mile 41 anyway. And the down hill after that was just this big, bounding, swooping, wide-turning perfection of a down-hill that was ALL fun and NO scary twisty turns. Me likey.

Next time, i plan on going just a little harder for the first 38 miles or so before giving myself a tiny 1-2mi breather in prep for this hill.


I did a 30 min brick run off the ride and alright, I admit. My poor gams were definitely tired. Not overly exhausted or fatigued, and certainly not something that a few more weeks of training won't fix, but certainly something to keep in mind as I train.

Later that day, we practiced 5-6 swim starts in Lake San Antonio. And miss scaredy little cat (me) decided to put on her big gal pants and hang in the middle of the pack with the big boys instead of staying back in fear of getting smacked in the face. Well, guess what...the SF YMCA tri folks don't mess around in the water.

During one of the swim starts, I got elbowed, square in the eye! Man that was painful! Not to mention it startled the heck outa me..so much so that I let every-one go ahead of me.

Note to self: Start in the middle but swim wide initially and protect your head from getting kicked, smacked and elbowed!

The swim start practice followed by a 15-20min swim was the last of the workouts for Saturday and I was definitely pooped. I got to the cabin, took a shower and then went off to Cabin 14, where we were to have dinner and a mini-dance party, which was to conclude at 10:00pm sharp.

That's a triathlon party for ya. Starts at 6pm, ends at 10pm with everyone in bed by 10:30pm ...11:00 tops! We had a 7:30am run to get up for don't ya know!!

I wish every party would end by 11:00pm..then I wouldn't feel like I was missing out on all the cool happenings by cutting out early since I have this thing called triathlon training that I have to wake up and do everyday.

Anyway, I brought this yummy mango salsa as my contribution to the party and it was a total hit. Everyone loved it and I was very happy that they did. After much grubbing and talking, and a little bit of joking around and dancing...we went off to bed.

BTW, just thought I'd mention it, but Phoenix (my bike) got several compliments on Saturday . Mama was very happy :)


The next day was the run and I gotta say, I definitely underestimated that bad boy. I knew that the run would be hilly, but for some reason, I was anticipating short, steep hills by the way people talked about the race. I had been practicing these during my runs. Alot. I thought I'd be ready. Boy was I wrong. These hills weren't short, sweet and steep and at all.

No sir.

These were long, grueling, big bertha hills that stretched gradually on and on...and on....and (last one) ON! I was NOT ready for that, especially after the killer training filled saturday.

My legs were so dead for the run. I mean, I got through it okay and I even got a second wind of energy towards the last few miles but I definitely realized that I need to shift my run focus a little bit to encorporate more slow, gradual climby hills vs. short, steep hills.

After this weekend, I feel pumped up and ready to tweak my training to fit to the race. I am confident that with just a little adjustment on the run terrain, proper attention to my nutrition, and consistent hillwork on the ride, I will feel good once race time comes around.

This week, (thankfully) is a recovery week. That means reduced training and shorter long rides and runs. Hoorah! I need it that's for sure.

...Although I sorta can't wait for my 70 miler ride coming up next weekend!! Is that masochistic??

Whatever it is...It's so nice to finally look fwd to these monsters instead of dreading them. And I got consistency to thank for it.

Consistency, determination and hard-work, I'm finally convinced, are the key to success in anything, I mean anything you do in life. You do the work, you reap the results :). It's as simple as that...and all it took was some serious tri-training to help me re-realize that.

Azra

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mt Hamilton Ride...take two

The following is a post mainly for my own entertainment and records.

I made an outline of a post two weeks ago, when I rode mt. Hamilton on 2/28/09 and wanted to blog about it but never got around to finishing the post. Yes, I can be kinda anal about planning..which is why i have so many posts that I've started but never finished. Each one takes me 1-2h at the very least!


Re-reading the outline, I kinda cracked myself up and found it worthy of a post it it's skeletal form :


a) scared as crap about wild flower triathlon so did a conquer the fear of hills ride by doing Mt. Hamilton, 18 miles of solid climbing. the mt is made for horsies to climb up so at no point was it ridiculousy steep, just very, very long.

Here's the route and the elevation profile:





b)did the ride with a group called purplepatchfitness, got dropped but found another rider Jerris, goes by Jerry who helped me
out and together we conquered this mountain all the way to the top to the observatory

c) view from the top (pictures)

The Mt. Hamiltion Observatory
Observatory Atop Mt. Hamilton


View from the Top...You can see the road i climbed all the way up!


e)Scared shitless to descend the mt. gotta work on my descending an cornering skills. Was coming down a corner and tried to 'go for it' instead of breaking through it but I bit it. Poor Phoenix (the bike) got her deralieur scratched and her shifter lever name plate dented (an easy fix) but I came up unscathed with nary a scratch in site :0). hooray for winter clothing

longest 40 miles ever but well worth it. took me 6 effin' hours counting the breaks and the spill i took...ridic. Hills are no longer daunting and compared with this mt, the elevation profile for WF seems like a joke (though still not a very funny joke)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Daylight and Sunshine

Man, the weather has been superbly amazing in SF these days. I keep forgetting that other parts of the country are barely starting to thaw out because out here in Frisco, it's a purrrfect 60-65 degrees high when it's not raining and a cooler 55 or so high when it is.

Well this weekend, guess what. It wasn't raining. No ma'm. infact it was the perfect weather for a beautiful 50 mile bike ride up north (well not too north) in San Rafael/Nicasio/Petaluma ...one of those days that make you feel happy to be alive and in good health and have the ability to enjoy the beautiful sunshine and hills and lush greenery all around you.

I have been training with the YMCA tri group for a little while now, but this saturday was my first official group ride with them and I gotta tell ya, I actually really enjoyed it! We met up at the Lucas Valley rd park & ride off the 101N and got going on our lovely bikes at 9am!

This was a semi-no-drop ride with plenty of regroups and while I was consistently at the back of the group, I wasn't too far off behind them :).

The ride was pretty easy going, mainly flat with one big hill towards the beginning of the ride. I felt great on the ride, basically didn't feel much fatigue until the last 10 miles or so and my left knee didn't really bother me until right around that time either which is good! I even followed my ride with a quick little 20min run and definitely felt like I had enough left in the tank for more :0)

Sunday, we lost an hour by switching to daylight savings time, but I would much rather celebrate gaining an extra hour of daylight and sunshine than mourn the loss of that 'hour' and the loss of sleep that comes with it.

I do realize, however, that not every feels the same way about daylight...glorious daylight. IN fact, many people, especially the daggone nocturnal folks down right hate the 'loss' of this hour.

I don't get it!!! I've ALWAYS loved DST!!

I would gladly, in a heart beat, any day of the week give up this hour that i'll gain back at the end of the year anyway for some added sun in my life.

Logging onto Facebook and checking people's status messages, it's ridiculous, I mean ridiculous how many status messages are dedicated towards pooh poohing on DST and whining about this so called 'losss' of an hour!

All I can say is...GET OVER IT!

And while you're at it, go for a nice walk or better yet, a nice run after you get off from work because guess what, the sun is still out at 7pm :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just Post

So after talking with a friend who also blogs and trains for tris, I realized I should just post.

Tons has happened, and I keep delaying posting knowing full well that I really, reaaaaalllly need to, simply because the list of things i needs to blog about keeps getting longer and longer.

So I decided, I'm just gonna post.

Forget making it witty and entertaining, forget thinking through the subject and the organization of the post, forget brainstorming quirky little remarks....

I should just post

On the fly. In no particular order.

Just a post


So here's what's up.

Training's been going well. I mean sure i'm still missing a workout (sometimes two) every week, but it's still more or less consistent. I'm hittin' the swims, hittin the long ride/runs without excuses and I'm finding that consistency really is the key to great training.

Imagine that??

The runs aren't as painful on my legs as they used to be since I've slowly and consistently increased mileage.

The swim is coming along just fine since I've been consistently hitting the pool and getting in 1600-2000m twice a week.

And the bike....sigh the bike. The biking has been a dream every since I got Her.

Three weeks ago, I finally bit the bullet and purchased a bike : The Cervelo Soloist Carbon 2008. I really need to dedicate an entire post to Her, because it really feels like she was sent into my life for a reason by the Divine Powers at work.

She rides like a dream. And I named her Phoenix.

Every day I make a workout is like every day that I achieve a mini goal for myself. It keeps me sane, it keeps me happy and it takes a tremendous amount of will power to execute.

I still fight with myself every time i have to wake up early to make my swims. You'd think i'd be used to it by now, but such is not the case.

"it's just one workout...you can make it up later!!"

"...oh it's raining out"

"oh you're too tired to get out of bed"

Every time i fight with these oh so convincing voices inside my head, and every time i win, I feel that much happier for the rest of the day.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

First Post of the Year

It's almost the end of Jan and I'm finally getting around to writing my very first post of the year! Pretty bad huh? I know, I know. I'm gonna try my best to be more on top of blogging from now on.

A lot has happened since the last post. Obama is officially our president as of 1/20/08 and unfortunately, the recession didn't magically disappear upon his oath to presidency like I thought it would (shocker!) so I'm a little bummed but other than that, things have been A-Okay.


And Oh, btw, I started my training for triathlons for this year, this week being my second official full week of training this year!


Yippee Skippeee!

Go Me!

No, seriously.

GO ME!

Alright enough of the monkey business.

Currently I'm building up to do the WildFlower Half-Ironman Triathlon on May 3rd, which is supposed to be a gnarly, vicscious, chew you up and spit you out, super duper mosterously hilly, cry for mommy, beg for mercy kinda race

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but it's definitely a no-joke type race that makes me pee my pants just a little bit with both sheer excitement and absolute fear every time I talk/think about it.

It's the kind of feeling that you get when you're about to go on stage and speak to a big crowd and you haven't prepared a speech.

Or you're about to bet $500 on black at the roulette table when you know that's all you've got left in your pocket.

Or you're about to jump off the airplane into a gaping canyon with nothing but a little pull-cord that deploys the parachute to save you from plummeting to the ground.

You're both scared and excited at the same time and that adrenaline rush pumping through your veins is what makes you pull that trigger.

I haven't physically signed up for the race yet, but mentally and emotionally, I'm all checked in and ready to train. I'm just waiting till the end of Jan to do the deed :)

To prep for the race I started training with the YMCA triathlon group in SF and I'm diggin' the fact that I get lots of coached swim/ride/run workotus plus a personalized workout schedule that breaks things down by day, week and month up to my next race. No fuss, no muss, just do the work outs and don't cheat yourself and you'll be good to go. So I hope at least. We'll see how this 'experiment' works out for us hehe.


So, in case you were wondering, here's my training Schedule for this month and how I've fared so far.

The scheduled workouts are on the first line of each day in normal font and the workouts completed are right below it in, highlighted in blue and italicized. Sad to say, I have indeed missed a day a week on each of the weeks, but I still feel pretty good for sticking to most of it!

Here it is:


The coach has me building up some serious mileage on the bike over the next few months. Considering that i'll be getting a snazzy new bike pretty daggone soon, I'm excited and sayin' bring on the miles sucker.

Here's the what my saturday/sunday weekend schedule looks like building up to the race: Saturdays are long rides in miles, Sundays are long runs in minutes:




And to help me accomplish this, I'm 95% sure that i'll be investing in a brand-spankin'-beautiful cervelo team soloist 2009. Now I know it's not a trialthon bike, but it's far more practical for me to get a road bike if i wanna be riding in hilly hilly SF and Marin.

Who knows, If I'm extra good with saving money this year, I might buy an actual tri-bike towards the middle of the year. But for now, feast your eyes on this bad boy and my (crossing fingers) future ride:



It's something ain't it? I've been eyeing the cervelo team soloist for quiet some time now (about a year to be precise) and I can't wait to finally get it. It's a bad-ass aero-dynamic road bike that I'm planning to trick out with some sweet wheels and maybe a nicer crank set in the future. Of coures, I'll be adding some tri bars to the mix.

I'm thinking about calling it...torpedo. I dunno why, but that's the first name that popped into my head when I was pontificating on what to call my future bike. My current one is called 'The Beast' because of how hard it was for me to to tame the damn thing (i.e learn how to ride it without falling). This one is 'supposed' to be a wicked-fast, as aero-dynamic as a legal road bike gets type of bike. Yeah. Torpedo....I like the sound of that. I think I'm starting to get attached to it :)

Anyhoo, I'm still at work , it's 10:55pm and I've got a nice ride in a sunny 48 degrees tomorrow. It'll be a bit chilly but I ain't complainin'. It's cuz 48 degrees is tons better than the over 2x48 (that's 96) degrees that i used to ride in when I lived in Arizona.

I'm hopped up on tea, got less than 6 hours of sleep last night and will probably get less than 6h again tonight but you know what, it don't matter.

I still look forward to waking up every day, and working out because starting each day with a workout carries me on an endorphin high through out the day and makes everything so much more exciting and enjoyable :).

I hope to be able to keep the same attitude as the miles grow long and my body starts wearing out but for now, I'm taking a deep breathe...and taking it all in :).

La Vida e bella

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Inspired to Make a Difference

Last year, I had picked up an issue of TIME magazine and read an amazing, inspiring article by Jeffrey Sachs on simple steps the developed world can take to help eliminate the despair of third world countries. He also wrote a book on this topic called The End of Poverty which I plan to read.

The article really moved and inspired me. After reading it, I decided that when I sign up for Ironman and pour my heart and soul into training, I won't do it in vain. I'll do my part to help make this world a better place.

On Nov 24 2008, I did the deed. I signed up for Ironman and with it, came the desire to fulfill the promise that I had made to myself after reading the article.
When (inshallah) I race the Ironman Triathlon in Arizona next year in Nov 2009, I'm not just going to train and race without having it mean something more

No. I'm going to do something bigger than that. Through my training for Ironman, I want to create awareness of our responsiblity towards our fellow human beings. I dont' want to race just for me, I want to race for those little girls in Tajikistan who desperately need schooling and education in their village. I want to race for those brave Pakistani women who risk their lives at search and rescue missions to save other women who may otherwise be left to fend for themselves. I want to race for clean water in African villages, I want to race for food and shelter for those who can't provide it for themselves. I want to race for something bigger than my own selfish reasons for wanting prolonged endorphin highs. I want to race for theAga Khan Development Network .

And I want to do it big.

I hope to successfully train and compete in Ironman Arizona in November 2009, and I have about a year to raise as much capital as possible for this organization. I'm not gonna just hit up my friends and family for some change and call it a day on this one. From creating my own website or at the very least, a specific blog, to utilizing social networking avenues, to knocking on company doors for pledging, I want to see just what it is I'm capable of doing and who out there will help me accomplish it all.

And for this mission, I don't want to set a "goal" on how much money I can garner in donations, because I may get smug and satisfied if I achieve this goal and not try to push beyond it. I just want to keep this open ended and collect pledges and support non stop until I race. I want to put my heart and soul into this, like I've put my heart and soul into triathlon.

And maybe I'll learn a thing or two about my tenacity and determination, physical,mental and emotional, but most importantly, maybe I'll witness the compassion and generosity of others and the extent to which they're willing to help out their fellow human beings.

Maybe, just maybe...I'll be pleasantly surprised.

Stay tuned for updates on my progress on this mission as well as my updates on triathlon :)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Ironman Arizona 2009...Destiny Awaits

Ba-bump, Ba-bump, Ba-bump...my heart's about to leap out of my chest. Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump.. After numerous failed attempts to try to log into the website to sign-up, I'm staring at the final page, the final step, the point of no return, the 'don't look back and jump head first' plunge into something big, something much, much bigger than myself, something monumental, something life-altering, something that'll dictate my existance for the next 365 days.

Do I click 'submit'? Do I pull the trigger and take the leap of faith in myself, in my abilities, in hopes that I have the perseverance and the determination that it takes?

Then, I take a deep breath, and before any voice of reason could dissuade me from fulfilling my dream, I click the button that will change my life forever.

With that final click on the active.com website, I signed up for Ironman Arizona 2009 on Nov 25th 2008.

Since then, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I can't believe I did it. 2009 is going to be my year. MY year. And I'm going to rise to the challenge. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to become...An Ironman.

At times I get scared, at times I wonder if I did the right thing by signing up, but if I hadn't done it, I know that I would have regretted it. I know it. And just that fact alone is enough justification for what I did. Ready or not, I need to do this. I need to see if I have what it takes. I need to see if I can fulfill my Destiny.

I signed up for Ironman Arizona 2009 yesterday, and I've been prepping myself mentally for the training that is to come and the sacrifices that i'll be making. Happy hours with friends, Crazy nights of partying, fun vacations out of town, and all extra activities that aren't swimming-biking-running-strength_training-yoga-massage-stretching-icing will have to take an absolute backseat.

I've been watching Ironman finisher videos today and absorbing as much inspiration and motivation as I can for the days ahead of me.

I'm remembering why I wanted to do Ironman in the first place. I'm remembering the need to accomplish something so monumental and daunting that it seems near impossible. I'm remembering the emotions and the feelings of pride and accomplishment that come with it.

Just thinking about crossing that finish-line has gotten me teary eyed so many times.

I want this so bad, so, so bad, and when the time comes, I'll be ready.

Just you watch...I'll be ready.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Signed up for the Big K...Triathlete, Stratergize!!

Hey y'all.

I done did it. I've been talkin about signing up for the Big Kahuna for the last what...3-4 months now? Well, last monday, two weeks before the race, I finally pulled the trigger and signed up. Yeah I like to cut it close like that. I've never signed up for a race more than 6wks in advance. For Ironman Arizona though,I will be signing up a whole year in advance...wowza. Wonder how that's gonna work out for me haha

Well Back to the Big K.

I had been waiting for some sort of confidence booster, some sign that yes, despite my lack of training, I'm ready for this race. Last week in training was awesome. My 2h Long run on tues felt really good, especially the second half. I did a brick with hill repeates mid week and my legs held up fine under the pressure.

The clincher, however, the sign from the heavens that made me finally do the damn thing happened last sunday.

I did a 55 mile ride in relative hot weather at 15mph on a course that is definitely hillier than the Big K and then I still had a little something left for a 15-20min run after. The run felt good, granted I was slow, but it felt like I could have kept going at the pace for at least an hour. I was a little out of breath, but my legs weren't dead. Hell, I kinda wanted to keep going on my run, just to see how long I'd last before collapsing, but I hadn't brought any fluids with me and I didn't want to push my luck too far. I was happy enough that I finally had what I needed to feel good, and excited and pumped up about the race.

So now that I've signed up, I need to plan and strategize on how I'm going to execute this race.

Overall Summary:

Get through the swim somehow slowly, steadily. Gun it full throttle on the bike and make sure you fuel right in preparation for the run. Worry about the run when you get to it. If you fuel right, you can be confident that you'll pull through in the end.

My weakness is the begining of the triathlon, the swim, it always has been and it always will be. Running, my first love, my savior, my zen, is the last leg and is the leg that I'm the most comfortable with. The middle child, the bike ride, the one that I have a love/hate relationship with, is my wildcard.

During most races, I hold back on the bike just a little (sometimes a lot) so that I have enough gas left for the run..and when I'm done with the triathlon, I always feel like I could have endured the pain a little better on the bike, sucked it up, and pushed a little harder.

Well this time, I'm gonna try something different and see how it turns out. This whole race is a bit of an experiment anyway so why the hell not right?

So now I'm going to break down my strategy individually:

Swim:

This section will be short. Umm, I ain't trained up for this ish (big sorpresa) so I'm hangin back with the slow pokes. Navigation through the waters and spotting bouys shouldn't be too difficult since there's this big old pier that I'll be swimming around that'll always be to my right to sight off of. The waves are supposed to be tame, save the first few breaks on entrance. Besides, I can always just sneak under the pier and pretend to come out ahead with the smokin fast swimmers hehe.

Equipment needed: Wetsuit, goggles, body-glide, 1 Accel Gel.
Optional: Neoprene cap in case it's ridiculously cold in the water
Extra Transition items: basting pan filled with h20 to clean off the sand (buy a gallon), extra towels.

Bike:

This area will require the most planning and execution. I not only need to smoke the bike (well for me at least), I need to make sure that I fuel properly, don't overheat/underhydrate and am in good shape for the run.

T1 Prep and Nutrition Strategy:

Before I even begin the bike ride, I'm going to pop two thermolite pills (fancy pills that basically make sure I have enough salt/potassium in my body for the ride)

I notice that I love gatorade and the liquid energy it provides me on the ride, but sometimes, I just need some plain ol' water without any flavoring or nutrition. Also, three bottles filled with fluids generally suffices for a 3h ride in 70-75 degree weather. So I plan on carrying two bottles filled with Melon flavored gatorade (my fav) and one bottle filled with H to the izo (H2O).

In addition, I plan on taking 1 cliff bar and 5-6 packs of gel with me for calories. That's a lotta food. Like 850 calories worth. I will most likely just consume 1 cliff bar and 3-4 packs of gel, taking in solid energy (bar) towards the beginning/middle of the ride and liquid energy (gels) towards the end for easy digestion before the run.

I would avoid the solid all together if my body liked it that way, but unfortunately I start getting heart burn/uneasiness if I don't have at least a little solid food on the bike.

Yeah, I know, I've got like the finickiest stomach ever.

Also, I need to take a few pills on the ride with me. A couple of thermolytes are definitely to be consumed circa mile 30. That's when my legs start to cramp sometimes, and thermolytes will help with that.

I'm also gonna take along with me some gas-x or beano, a couple of heart-burn pills and some ibuprofen. Yeah yeah, go on, point and laugh I don't care. I've had major gas, major heart burn and throbbing headaches during rides before, and I'll be darned if any of those cause me to lose focus on my race and take away from the experience.

The Ride Strategy:

The first few miles, say 2-4 miles, out of the transition area, I need to take it chill. I need to get my bearings together, let my legs get used to riding, hydrate up a little and take an accel gel.

At the sight of the first hill after the warmup phase, I need to gun it up and push through the pain. The reason is that once I get used to the pain in my quads, it's easier to spin my legs and go faster on the flats. I guess going hard up the hills conditions my legs for the pain better and the ride just feels good on the not so hilly parts.

I also work better if I push it for a little while say 15min, and then chill it and get my Heart rate down for 1-2min. This is perfect because while i'm 'chilling it' I can take time to rehydrate and refuel and be energized and be good to go.I plan on utilizing this strategy for at least 2/3 of the course.

The last third of the course can go one of three ways.

1) (Ideal situation) If I'm making good time and feel good, I'll continue with this strategy and be even more careful to fuel up for the run. The last 10miles, I'm gonna let it all hang out and just floor it, but definitely not compromise on the hydration and fueling. The very last mile of the ride, if time permits, I'll gear down to the easier gears, spin my legs out, get my HR down and prep for the run.


2) (not the best situation) If I'm making good time (i.e. I'm confident that I will make the cutoff) and don't feel good, i.e. my legs are cramping, my head hurts from dehydration etc. I'll concentrate more of my efforts on rehydration and maybe I won't be 'flooring it' for teh last 10 miles. Grr. I hope I don't have to pull back due to improper fueling.

3) (the worst situation of all) If I'm not making good time and am actually worried that I won't make the bike cutoff all bets are off. The primary goal here would be to get to the effin' transition area before the 1pm cut off time. Fuel to the best of your abilities, no doubt, but don't slow down, don't look back, and don't listen to your body when it screams out in pain. Period.

Let's hope it doesn't come down to that.



Equipment needed: Bike, helmet, shades, socks, bike shoes, tire tube changing essentials, 3 bottles, 1 profile design bento box.
Nutrition needed: 2 melon flavored gatorades, 1 H20, 5-6 accel gels. 1 cliff bar cut in half.
Pills: a baggy with thermolytes, gas-x, ibuprofen, heart burn pills.
T1 Area: Take 2 thermolytes


Run Strategy:

To be honest, I haven't thought nearly as much about my run strategy as I have about my bike strategy mainly because I feel like my strategy on the bike is what'll help me the most during this race and greatly affect my run as well.


-T2 and Nutrition Strategy:

take two more thermolytes in transition and two for the road. I'll be popping those like candy if the temperatures are higher than expected hehe.

I also need to have the following waiting for me in transition: 1 packet of gel and two 8oz bottles filled with fluids 1=gatorade, 1=H20 and the usual collection of medication (gas-x, beano, ibuprofen, heartburn). I will be stuffing all of these in the side pockets of my shorts before taking off for the run section.

I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, 100% need to have hydration with me at all times.

If there's one thing I learned from my last half-ironman's run portion, it's that relying on aid stations to provide you with your fluids is a baaaad idea.

Baaaad. Baaad. Baaaaad. (Yes, I'm a sheep today)

Sometimes they're not spaced evenly, sometimes there aren't enough of them, and sometimes they run out of stuff before you get there!! I need to freeze my fluids the night before so that they're still somewhat cold by the time I get to them. I will also Take a gel with me to be consumed mind run.

So hydration on the run will be a combination of sipping from my fluid bottles and grabbing a cup of gatorade and a cup of water at every station or maybe even every other station depending on how they're spaced out.

At ~1h into the race, I'll take the gel that I brought along with me, esp if I'm feeling a little weak. If I feel like I'm cramping or that I might start cramping, I'll take another thermolite as well.

Run Strategy:

The goal at this point is to finish smooth and not blow up mid run. I really, really, really don't want to suffer unnecesarily if I can help it.

So the first third of the run, I'm going to take it super chill. No worries about time or speed, enjoy it, get my legs back into it, humm a nice song in my head, look around and enjoy the scenery. Don't push and don't get out of breath. It's just the first third, the start of the run. Take it slow and cherish it.

If I'm still feeling good, I will let myself kick up the pace just a teensy bit and get a little competitive. No triathlon would be feel right without at least a little bit of competitiveness now would it?

I'll start sizing people up that are ahead of me, see if I can chase them down (slowly but surely) and maybe even pass them :).

To be precise, the mental game that I usually play at these races is called "I'll shoot 'em down one by one". Yes it's a little violent, but hey it works for me.

In this game, I size up the people ahead of me, esp those that look like they're struggling or just plain old slow (i.e. plain old slower than me), find someone to target (i.e. pass) and then, I start shit talking to them in my head:

"Oh you think you can get ahead of me huh? You think you can beat me? Well I got news for ya buddy, I'll hunt you down like a dog. I'll hunt you doowwwwwnnnn. You don't even see it coming do you? Run for your life cuz when I come for you, you'll have no where to hide!!"

And then, as I'm passing my prey, I point a mental gun at them and I shoot them down. One Runner Down...who's next??

Yes it's kind of pathetic, maybe a little sadistic even and yes i'm a big dork and yes I still get an immense amount of joy from playing my mental shooting game and no I don't care what you think about it so hah :)


If I feel not that great, or just barely hanging on, I'll see if I can just hang on to my pace a little longer and not worry about anything/anyone else. Maybe I'll even resort to (gasp) a bit of little run-walking. I'm really hoping it doesn't come down to that though!



The last third of the race, maybe more like the last 5k, if I'm still feeling good, and still having fun shooting people down I'll kick my legs some more and really pick it up. I know that there's a fair bit of sand running along the beach involved at this point so i'll just do what I can with that.

If I'm feeling just okay,or not that great but not terrible, I'll see if I can at least push myself just a little more and run this last bit a little faster. Of course, if I'm feeling like absolutely crap I'll just focus on keeping pace and keep running.



During the very last mile, unless I feel like I'm about to die, I'm gonna try to give it all I've got. I need to take every ounce of energy, every iota of strength and put it all into my run.


In the last 100m or so, I'm gonna Push that final sprint kick in. It's the last stretch, time to leave every bit of your heart, your soul, your everything you have left in you out on the course no matter how you feel. Find it in you some where, and just push it to the finish line. Smile for the camera as you cross, and try not to throw up on the announcer :)

Equipment needed: sun glasses, visor, running shoes 2 8oz bottles filled with fluids, a little baggie of pills (gas x, beano, heart burt, theromolites, ibuprofen).


Wish me luck y'all I hope that I'm able to come out with the best of the scenarios that I've hypothesized and not face anything more tragic than the worst of the situations I've delineated in this post.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Emma Snowsill Wins Gold in Triathlon! I raced with her!!



Last year, I did the LA triathlon which is by far, my favorite triathlon of all time. The swim was at beautiful Santa Monica Beach...all the streets of hollywood were closed down just so we could bike through it in peace and the finish line was at the LA convention center..what more could you want?

Side detour: I'm not doing the LA triathlon this year because it falls on the same day as the Big Kahuna (which I'm hoping, will become my new fav).

Back to the title of the Post.

Emma Snowsill won the Olympic Gold for Triathlon this year.

Last year Emma Snowsill was the same woman who Won the LA triathlon which is the same freakin LA triathlon that I was competing in! That's crazy!! I actually raced with an olympiad!

In what other sport does this actually happen? (well, besides running)

During the pro triathlete swim start for the LA triathlon (they let the pros go first), I actually got to watched Emma and other pros sprint through the sand down to the water, hit the waves and dive right in...butterflying their way over and past the crazy breaks and out to the bouys....absolutely amazing.

In what other sport do you actually get to watch the people you idolize and admire up close (like 20ft away)?

In what other sport do you get to see them compete with you?

Many of the pros were warming up for their swim in the Ocean before the race started....just like us regular joe triathletes..so in reality I could have been warming up with Emma Snowsill.

For those of you who are football fans, this would be akin to warming up with Tom Brady or Eli Manning or something to that extent.

Being able to freely talk to and warm up with and interact with pro triathletes...just another one of the many reasons why triathlon is an awesome sport :)

Azra

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What do you say after being MIA for so long?

It's been almost two months since my last blogpost and I've gotta say I've missed blogging. Blogging started as something to do while I kill time at my boring old job and also as an attempt to document my life as a quarter lifin' gal trying to figure things out.

A lot has happened since. Well main a series of things leading to a huge, monumental, life changing event:

On June 20th, I got laid off from my old boring job.

As luck would have it, on the same day, I had a phone interview for an Analytics Research position with Slide, a facebook apps and widget making start-up founded by Max Levchin, the founder of PayPal.com.

They liked me on the phone and wanted to bring me in. I was scheduled to visit my parents in San Jose that upcoming weekend and so I extended my visit for an 8-round deep interview process at the Slide headquarters in San Francisco...amazing, beautiful, vibrant San Francisco.

They grilled the hell out of me in that interview, asking me all kinds of questions from brain teasers, to "how would you solve xyz metrics related problem" to prove that a limit exists from my Real Analysis class. It was non-stop talking and thinking and rinse and repeat and wait you think you're done but you're really not so let's grill you some more. Man, it was an intense, intense experience..but strangely, secretly, masochistically..I enjoyed it. I actually enjoyed it.

It had been so long since I'd been challenged to think, challenged to use my brain, that part of my body that I value the most, that I had neglected for a little while. As scary and intimidating as it was, I really liked every one who interviewed me and some how I knew, I knew that they felt that I belonged at Slide.

I guess that gut feeling was right, because that friday, the 27th, I got an offer.

I packed my bags up, took off for good old SF and started my position on the 21st of July.

Since then, I've been challenged day in and day out both intellectually and emotionally, as a I swim upstream to get up to speed, work long hours and feel exhausted. But I welcome it. I welcome feeling humbled, I welcome feeling like there's so much to do and so little time to do it in, and I welcome feeling overwhelmed to my fullest capacity....I guess these feelings have been missing from my life for so long that I had forgotten how much I secretly enjoyed them.

Alas all this does come at a price. All other aspects of my life have taken a bit of a backseat. My relationships with family and friends, my triathlon training, my desire to read more books and of course my blog. My days just sort of fuse together into a long string of work-sleep continum with a little bit of eating and working out.

I am definitely struggling to keep my triathlon training schedule and am just now starting to get back on it with less than 4 weeks left until my big race, the big Kahuna.

Luckily I had built a nice cushy run/bike base while I was in AZ. Th swim...well you know how I am with the swim..I'll just have to wing it some how..like I always do :).

It was already tough to be on a strict workout regimen with working 7-8 hrs a day in arizona, but now, working 12-14hr days..it's even harder. But that's what makes it that much of a challenge..and predictably enough, that's what makes me wanna work out even more.

Scarcity.

It's an amazing phenomenon

When you have the time, you don't know what to do with it, but when you don't, alluva sudden you wish you did.

Now, I look forward to all my workouts. I cherish them whole heartedly and I love each and every one of them because every time I make it to a work out, I thank God that I was able to find time in my schedule to run, bike or swim.

That fire that I talked about a few blogposts ago..it's back. it's here. that fire to do something big. I feel like being here in SF is my callng, I feel like working this much and being so involved in what I do has reminded me of the passion I used to have of being something bigger, achieving something grand. That combined with my desire to be Ironman...I'm on top of the world.

And, I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of a nice place to be. All I can do is just work hard and hope that I don't get knocked off this cloud :)

Azra